Just a few short days after writing my perky cheerleading post, I find myself feeling deflated, like the balloon we got in the hospital when our daughter was born that managed to just barely stay afloat for 8 weeks (it was like the little balloon that could, until it couldn’t). True, I am currently experimenting to see just how many ends a candle has to burn and if one more person asks me if my six-month-old is sleeping through the night, I will cackle so hard and seem so off-balance you might mistake me for an evil carnie (this kid is heavy and wants to be held all the time and I am pretty sure I not only look like the bearded lady, but a hunchback, too). I have an ever-nearing work deadline, a bathtub that has leaked from the second story in the garage and sprouted mold, and out of three wonderful nanny choices, I think I may have just unwittingly hired someone pregnant, which means I have to do this shit all over again. Did I mention my daughter now has horrible stranger and separation anxiety.  And we have a new nanny.  Oh, and I have to get a root canal. I’m like Sally Field’s character in Soap – a bad news buffet.  But, that is not what’s got me down (my Pollyanna skills are enviable most days).  My deflation can be traced back to my critique group last night.

I submitted a revised draft of my short story.  It’s close, but it’s not there.  The end is too rushed.  I just so wanted it to be done.  But, it’s going to require more baking.  And when I mentioned bringing it again next time, I am pretty sure I heard an audible groan.  A groan?!?  Really?  Then please don’t tell me it’s great, just needs a little more to be fantastic.  Tell me it blows.  Or don’t groan.  So, I joined the Insecure Writers’ Support Group and am seeking a cheerleader or two of my own.  And a stiff drink and a nap.

7 comments on “Deflated

  1. Why don’t you post your story here and see what happens? I’d love to read it!

    And to add to your roster of nanny nightmares, my personal favorite was the candidate who said she wanted to work with kids because she just “wanted a job. Any job.” When I asked her where she was working now, she said “Oh… down at the needle exchange.”


    I didn’t hire her.

    • Wow – I cannot believe someone would say that in a nanny interview. Though, good thing she did, because you wouldn’t have wanted her caring for your kids.

      Our nanny is in fact expecting, so we are looking for a replacement (mutual decision). Hopefully one of the others we liked is still available.

      As for the story, I will consider posting here. If not, I may contact you to send your way. A fresh pair of eyes is sometimes the best thing.

  2. Go easy on yourself! Your life is beautiful. I hope you get some rest soon!

  3. i apologize in advance but, bah ha ha! please know i am laughing because of the awesome way you related your dirty laundry! this means you are a tough customer who can handle juggling so many two ended candles without letting the wax burn you!

    what a horrible bunch of crap with a root canal that isnt a metaphor! ouch!

    i’ll read your groaner if you like =) and online there are no sound effects, only emoticons ;D

    and i’ll say a prayer, too! every little bit helps!

    • Thanks, Tara. I try to keep a sense of humor about it all. Otherwise I’d be a sobbing puddle on the floor. And thanks for the offer to read the story. My laptop broke down and is currently being resuscitated, so I hope to have the story back in hand soon. Valuable lesson on backing up. 😉

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